Stedman Graham

The third child in a family of six, Stedman Graham was born in 1951 in Whitesboro, New Jersey, an African-American community founded by his ancestor, the former U.S. Congressman George H. White. Stedman's father worked as a house painter and contractor. When asked to describe him, Stedman says, 'My father's primary commitment in life was to his family. He was humble, honest, and hard working. He was meticulous in his work and took pride in performing his job well.'

Growing up in a segregated community had its pluses and minuses. 'The thing that was great about my ancestor, George H. White, who created this community, is that he carved out something where people of color could be business owners and skilled tradesmen,' says Stedman. 'He created opportunities that allowed them to provide for their families. They didn't have to live as marginalized citizens, but it wasn't easy for any of us.'

Hard working applies to Stedman's mother as much as to his father. 'She was a giver,' he says. 'I had two younger brothers who were mentally challenged, and she was devoted to them. She worked at the state school for special needs, and she did whatever she could to help those who were less fortunate in and around the community. Both of my parents had a big influence on me.'

The Graham family regularly attended St. Stephens AME church, where Stedman served as an usher and sang in the choir. He also participated in Boy Scouts and Little League. Stedman is tall'now six feet, six inches'and he was a gifted basketball player. For him, and all the boys in his class, sports would be their way to a more successful future. 'Growing up, I dreamed about being in the NBA,' says Stedman.

After being teased because of his brothers' challenges, Stedman developed self-esteem issues. He became driven to prove he had value as a person, making him into a perfectionist. He analyzed every situation relentlessly to make sure he made as few mistakes as possible so that he would not embarrass himself. 'When you're young, no one ever tells you how to deal with brothers who have special needs,' he says. 'It made me angry, and I overcompensated to prove that I was good enough. The one thing that made me feel good about myself was basketball. I was a good player. In those days, I had a lot of anger inside of me, and I think basketball is what kept me on the right track.'

In high school, Stedman participated in as many school activities as he could. He was a drum major and freshman class treasurer as well as a noted athlete. His skills on the basketball court brought top college recruiters to him from all over the nation. He had offers from Harvard, Yale, UCLA, and USC, but he didn't visit those campuses. He explains, 'I knew I could play for those schools, but I had no confidence in my ability to make it as a student. When I was young, I didn't really understand the value of education. What I couldn't see then was that all my limitations were self-imposed. I was living down to my expectations.'

Stedman received a scholarship and eventually graduated from Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene, Texas, where he achieved a bachelor's degree in social work in 1974. He had played well on the school's basketball team but failed to be drafted by any NBA teams. After college, he served five years in the Army, mostly in Germany, where he played on both a military basketball team and a team in the European professional basketball league. While serving, he earned a master's degree in education from Ball State University.

After the Army, Stedman worked for the federal corrections system. One of his early jobs was to receive and discharge inmates coming into and going from the prison. 'I didn't like that job, but I never let anyone know it. One thing I got from my father was a sense of determination and perseverance as well as the ability to keep going in spite of difficulties. I felt that if I worked hard and had a positive attitude about this job, my supervisors might want to promote me, and that's exactly what happened. Eventually I became director of education at the U.S. Metropolitan Correctional Center in Chicago. I changed my circumstances by committing myself to rising above a not-so-good situation. That was an important lesson for me.'

Stedman was on track to one day become a warden in the Federal Corrections System, but he began to be interested in the growing field of public relations and sports event marketing. He went to work as a vice president at B&C Associates in High Point, North Carolina, where Robert Brown, the founder and CEO of the company and a Horatio Alger Member since 1990, mentored him and trained him in public relations. While in that position, Stedman worked with many distinguished clients, including numerous trips to South Africa to work with activist Winnie Mandela.

In 1988, Stedman went out on his own and founded S. Graham and Associates, a management, marketing, and consulting firm. As a businessman, educator, and speaker, Stedman lectures and conducts training programs for corporations and educational organizations worldwide on the topic of Identity Leadership, based on his philosophy that you cannot lead anyone else until you first lead yourself. He has delivered Identity Leadership programs in The Netherlands, Germany, China, Canada, the United Kingdom, Bermuda, and South Africa. His clients include Gulfstream, Microsoft, Deloitte, Wells Fargo, Lenovo, General Dynamics, and the U.S. Departments of Labor and Education.

One trait Stedman has always had is his drive. 'This is what allowed me to overcome obstacles,' he says. 'I don't give up. I always wanted to do better, but for a long time I didn't know what the missing piece was for me. I've been influenced by many people in my life, but one of the most influential is my life partner, Oprah. I am very grateful and blessed to her in my life because she is the one who helped me to realize who I am as a person. She encouraged me to read and explore and through that I came to understand that real change only comes when you apply what you have learned to your life.'

During his career, Stedman Graham has authored 12 books'two of which were New York Times best sellers and one Wall Street Journal best seller'and has worked with and trained thousands of students as a visiting professor at colleges and universities throughout the country. He is a former adjunct professor at Kellogg Graduate School of Management at Northwestern University, where he taught the course, 'The Dynamics of Leadership.' He is also a former adjunct professor at the University of Illinois in Chicago, where he taught his Nine Step Success Process® for Identity Leadership, which includes:

STEP 1: CHECK YOUR ID ' Before you decide what you want out of life, you must first understand who you are, what the influences on your life are, and why you think and act the way you do.

STEP 2: CREATE YOUR VISION ' Realizing exploring your dreams and aspirations should be your life's destination. A well-defined vision enables you to set meaningful goals.

STEP 3: DEVELOP YOUR TRAVEL PLAN ' If you're going to fulfill your vision for greater success, you must create a plan of action. When you begin to work toward your goals, you assert power over your life.

STEP 4: MASTER THE RULES OF THE ROAD ' You need guidelines to keep you on track as you pursue a better life. The rules are constant and enduring, they do not change.

STEP 5: STEP INTO THE OUTER LIMITS ' To grow, you must first leave your comfort zone by confronting your fears and taking risks. Fear of the unknown is one of the greatest obstacles that you'll face.

STEP 6: PILOT THE SEASONS OF CHANGE ' If you keep doing what you've done, you'll get the same results, so learn how to create change and manage your response to it. With change comes opportunity and growth.

STEP 7: BUILD YOUR DREAM TEAM ' No one makes it alone. Build supportive relationships that will help you work toward your goals. Learn to trust and be trustworthy. Most successful people have built such relationships throughout their lives.

STEP 8: WIN BY DECISION ' What you are in this world is largely the result of the decisions you've made so far in your life. Without the decision to act, no opportunities exist.

STEP 9: COMMIT TO YOUR VISION ' Devote your time and energy on a consistent basis to pursuing your goals. Enthusiasm and commitment generate excellence, and that leads to success.

The advice Stedman gives to young people is further explored in his book, New York Times best seller Teens Can Make It Happen, which is used in numerous middle and senior high schools in the United States and abroad. 'The world is a collection of unlimited wealth and resources,' says Stedman. 'Often, we limit our potential by moving in our own small circles because of our fears. If we change the way we view the world, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.'

Stedman follows many life lessons he has discovered along the way, but one he feels is particularly important is commitment, and he is committed to community development, particularly in his hometown. He is the founder of the Concerned Citizens of Whitesboro as well as the Concerned Citizens of Lake Wacamaw, North Carolina. He is also the cofounder of the Community Alliance for Youth Success.

Honored by his Horatio Alger Award, Stedman became familiar with the Association through his friend and colleague Bob Brown ('90), and he has in past years been invited to address Horatio Alger Scholars. 'These hard-working students are seeking to improve their lives through education,' he says. 'When I address them, I want to teach them how to learn how to take knowledge and education and make it relevant to their development. Most of all, I want to teach them how to understand who they are as a person'because, to me, that is a gift that keeps giving throughout life.'